5 MAGGIO 2016
While I was roaming around near Mumbai, I stopped at Muktananda’s ashram for a couple of days. Unexpectedly, while I was there he poured on me much grace and very special attention, even though the first thing I said was that I am a disciple of Osho. I felt honored by him yet was a bit uncomfortable. Mainly, I felt guilt towards you. I am back now with you but very confused. Please help me.
First thing, whatsoever you do, never feel guilty – whatsoever you do. To go to Muktananda’s ashram is not a sin. It may be your karma, but it is not a sin! You have not violated any rule, because I don’t have any rules. How can you violate them? I don’t give you rules, because you are such neurotic people that out of the rules you will create guilt. Never associate guilt with me, around me, in association with me. I don’t want you to make, to create, any guilt, to ever feel guilty. Whatsoever you do, do it totally.
Now, you have been to Muktananda’s ashram: you should have been there totally. You must have been thinking about me there, and you must have been feeling guilty. You have been taught wrong things.
To be with me is not a monogamy. It is not a husband-wife relationship – that the wife cannot look at another man or the husband cannot look at another woman. I make you absolutely free. How many times do I have to repeat it? You can go to Muktananda or anywhere – you can even go to hell. And if you wander around Mumbai too much, suddenly one day you will find yourself in hell, remember – because a direct route goes from Mumbai to hell!
And this is surprising, how you managed to reach Muktananda’s ashram by wandering around Mumbai. It is far away from Mumbai. But it may be the same guilt: you cannot even take the responsibility that “I went.” You cannot even say that? How poor. You cannot even take your responsibility that “I went to Muktananda’s ashram.” You say, “While I was roaming around near Mumbai, I stopped at Muktananda’s ashram – for a couple of days”! Just look at the absurdity.
Be responsible. If you have been there, you have been there, and nothing is wrong in it. Muktananda is also God; maybe a mediocre god but still a god. You are allowed to go to mediocre gods too. And don’t feel guilty, because you are already punished – Muktananda is a punishment! What more punishment do you need?
Remember responsibility always. Whatsoever you do, do consciously; don’t wander. The questioner is trying to say that it was not conscious, deliberate – “by chance.” But nothing is by chance; everything is your responsibility. Don’t be accidental. This is one of the ways – how we try to throw responsibility onto others’ shoulders. Your act is your act. Next time, please, if you go, there is no need to wander so much. You can go directly.
And then “a couple of days” – just by wandering. A couple of minutes may have been okay, but a couple of days means you wanted to be there. But nothing is wrong in it. What I am insisting on is: accept it, that you wanted to be there.
And it is good. I know how you feel. You are shopping for a guru, and it is a supermarket. There are many gurus in the world, and how can you just decide that this man is the right one? You will have to go here and there; sometimes to Muktananda, sometimes to Sai Baba, sometimes to somebody else – nothing wrong in it!
If something of me has penetrated your heart, you will come back. If not, then it is good that you don’t come back. If something beneficial happens to you there, then allow it to happen, with all my blessings, because that is what we are trying to do. If it happens in Muktananda’s ashram, good. It should happen, that is the point. I do not have any obsession with Pune, that it should happen in Pune. If your enlightenment happens in Muktananda’s ashram, very, very good. I will be happy, tremendously happy it happened. Pune is not the point. This small piece of land.how many people can become enlightened here? The whole world is yours; become enlightened anywhere you want, choose any place.
And it is natural for the mind to go here and there. One wavers a little and then by and by one settles. And it is good that one should waver a little. So don’t force yourself. If the idea arises, which is natural, to go and visit some other ashrams and see what is happening there. You may be just deceived here. Who knows? I may be just a fake, a fraud. So who knows? Just go and see what is happening there. Maybe something is really happening there and you are benefited. Good. If not, I am available here; you can come back. But don’t create any guilt.
“Unexpectedly, while I was there he poured on me so much grace and a very special attention, even though the first thing I said was I am a disciple of Osho.” That’s why! It is so simple and so political; there is nothing much in it, it is not a mystery. Next time go without wearing orange, without a mala, shave your head so he cannot recognize you; and then see.
Mulla Nasruddin died. He went to heaven, but of course, as you are worried about going to some other ashram. He lived a few days in heaven and then he said to God, “I have never seen hell. And who knows, maybe things are better there. And rumors have come that they have air-conditioned it and much dancing and drinking goes on there and all the beautiful people of the world are there. Here there are only sad saints, holy people, sitting dusty and dirty under the trees. No song – not even a newspaper! No radio, no TV. And rumors are that all the politicians are there and all the scientists are there and they have created a beautiful place.”
God said, “You can go and see and have a visit,” and a two-days’ visa was given to him.
He went and he was received with great celebration. And it was really beautiful; he had never even dreamt of such a beautiful place. He thought, “What nonsense! Even God would enjoy being here. Nobody knows that hell has changed completely, and we go on believing in old books where heaven was praised and hell was condemned. Now things are totally different; things are the other way around!”
For two days he enjoyed it. He gambled and drank and danced, and all the beautiful women from Cleopatra to Marilyn Monroe – all were there. And it was tremendously beautiful, and two days just passed like two seconds. He was very sorry.
He went back and said to God, “I don’t want to be in heaven. Please give me a permanent visa; I want to go there.”
God said, “But remember, once you have a permanent change of your address, you will not be allowed to come back.”
He said, “Who wants to come back? Don’t waste time! And I don’t want to go through the red tape. Give me an order immediately. I want to go to hell, and I don’t want to stay here a single moment.”
And of course, it was arranged. He reached hell, and suddenly almost a dozen devils jumped on him and started beating him. He said, “What are you doing?” And he looked around; that beautiful scene was not there – and fire and flames. He said, “This looks like the old hell. Have I missed something? Have I reached the wrong place?”
They said, “No, you are in the right place.”
“But,” he said, “just the other day I was here for two days and it was so beautiful.”
They laughed and said, “That was not the real hell. It was just a showpiece for the visitors. Now you have come here as a permanent resident; now you will know the real thing.”
Next time, don’t talk about me. If you talk about me, certainly, it is simple and diplomatic that much grace and love and attention should be given to you.
And it worked too: “I felt honored by him.” Special attention – who will not feel honored? Here I never give any special attention to anybody. Even if you want to see me you will have to wait for days. An appointment is not so easy, and I don’t pay any special attention to anybody, because I really mean to work here, I mean business.
Special attention is given to you just to buttress your ego, and that’s how things go on. The guru buttresses the ego of the disciple and the disciple buttresses the ego of the guru – a mutual understanding and things go well and everything runs smoothly. They go on lubricating each other.
Here, there is nothing of that sort. I am very businesslike. I don’t give any special attention to you, because the very desire to get special attention is wrong. What are you going to do with the special attention you get? You will feed your ego. Everybody wants to be specially attended to. Why? – because everybody wants to be somebody special.
So of course, there is nothing mysterious in it: “I felt honored by him.” The special attention worked on your ego.
If you want to be here with me, remember, I am not playing any game of the ego with you. Things are straight, direct. You are here to dissolve yourself, and I am here to help you die. It is going to be arduous, but all growth is painful.
But if you want children’s toys, then you can go anywhere you want to. Maybe you need them right now. Maybe you are still childish, juvenile, not a mature person. Then you will need something like that.
But never feel guilty. I don’t want you to feel guilty for anything, whatsoever it is. Unconditionally, I want to say to you that I don’t want to create guilt in you.
OSHO Ecstasy: The Forgotten Language